Now that the Smell is Familiar

How about one of my favorite songs?



This song is so sentimental for me! I want to find LOVE again. He gives and takes away. My heart will choose to stay.

Please tell me of a time, Internets, where things have come and gone.  A time where you've received something when you've least expected it.

xoxo

This Feels So Weird, Yet So Familiar

Scent is the closest sense to memory. Have you ever smelled something that took you back 10 or 15 years? Calvin Klein's Contradiction, do you remember it? That's my take me back 15 years. When I smell Calvin Klein's Contradiction (to THIS DAY), it takes me back to the summer before my freshman year of HIGH SCHOOL. I'm walking with my best friend (who is still my best friend) and her sister to see Nine Months. We're walking from Ruby Tuesday's to the movie theater. You remember it, don't you? Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore, before he was caught sleeping with a prostitute. My best friend cried at the end, I thought it was sweet. Contradiction, IT TAKES ME THERE. Thanks Calvin Klein ;).

Well, anyways, this has nothing to do with Nine Months, Julianne Moore, or Hugh Grant. Nice diatribe though, right? But it does have something to do with scent being tied to memory. You see, I kept having this nagging feeling I should re-open this blog, but I kept denying it. I hadn't written on it in so long, what would people think? Where would I start? And then I opened a 'new post' to see how it would feel AND I could SMELL the familiarity. I could smell it, you guys. Don't ask me how it smells, as I'm not sure how it smelled *exactly, but it smelled like something I recognized. AND I REALIZED I MISSED THE SMELL.

And it was sweet (not the smell but the fact that it took me back). And I thought, YOU KNOW WHAT, I can do this, I can write on this blog. I might not recognize the life I had THEN but I have a life now, and it's not about being SINGLE, but it's about being happy. And this space had and HAS so much to do with being happy. I love this space! I was always so honest and real, so much fun we had here. I'm not finished yet! And if we're being COMPLETELY honest, I feel much more comfortable with Blogspot.

So, I'm back. It EVEN smells familiar. I'm not sure how often I'll type. But I'm sure I'll find something to type about at one time or another.

xoxo,
RAW

Big News!!

Ahem... look who decided to show her face again- I can't believe it either!! After a good think about it and a huge desire to blog, I decided to get back to blogging. But not here!

NEW BLOG IS HERE! Add me to your Reader at http://bloggergonesingle.wordpress.com/.

I'll be waiting for you (wait... does that sound weird?). And I'll be commenting again, so blog away!


xoxo,
r.a.w.

Why Shouldn't You Tickle an Egg?

Because it might CRACK UP. Bahaha. I'm sorry but I love Easter jokes almost as much as I love snowman jokes.

Happy Easter! I hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday. I did. It was such a beautiful day here. Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine. It was wonderful. Well, except for that darn dog that kept biting the tires on my bike as I was trying my hardest to ride it. What a strange dog, it really loved rubber. It would not stop. And I couldn't get off the bike because it was my Mom's bike, and if we're being honest, I couldn't touch the ground very easily because I'm SO short. So it was weird and kind of like a scene from Kujo. But the day really was beautiful, so I'm thankful for that.

Also, while we're talking about things for which I am thankful but are also a bit strange... yesterday Homie was at Kr0ger perusing the vegetable area when a CAR CAME CRASHING INTO THE STORE. It didn't stop at the building either, it bulldozed through the card aisles and wiped out a couple of the checkout lanes. Luckily, no one suffered serious injuries. It was a case of a 79 year-old woman who accelerated instead of braking while parallel parking. Also, she didn't let off the accelerator while crashing through the store, which caused her to bulldoze through half the store. How crazy is that? Homie was RIGHT THERE and a bit shaken to say the least. Wow. Crazy. I tell you. Crazy.

And let's be honest, I haven't blogged in ages. I rarely have a computer when I'm away from work, and blogging from work just. seems. wrong. But all that's about to change because....

get ready for it...

I BOUGHT A HOUSE! Yes, I did. I close on May 6th. This means May should be a lively time for this little blog. I will have my COMPUTER, my CAMERA, my CAMERA CORD, and everything else that brings joy to my blogging. So, get ready for it.

Until then though... I'll be sleeping on an air mattress at a friend's house. Nothing like a piece of humble pie to get me excited for my own little place. A little cottage in a cute little area. I can't wait to share pictures of it... get ready for it. Because there will be LOTS of pictures.

Happy Easter! I miss everyone, and will be back to commenting soon.

xoxo,

r.a.w.

Health Kick Season

Hello Internets!! It's good to see you again. The sun is shining, my calendar says it's the month of March, my pocketbook says ouch from its incessant opening and closing at department stores across the nation (the online nation), and my gut is feeling firm flabby... ruh roh. That's right ladies and gentleman more ladies, it's that time of year again.  Health kick season is upon us. And in case you haven't figured it out yet, I love a good health kick.

This year I made the executive decision to join a gym, but not just A GYM, two gyms. Both gyms are at my work place which give me the opportunity to (wait for it) workout early in the morning (i.e. BEFORE work) or during lunch. Because we all know how popular I am after work, I can't be bothered to work out then. My new goal is to workout five days a week. If I workout before work I'll use one gym (lonely, cramped, not many machines gym) and if I workout during lunch I'll use the other gym (hello beautiful, open, lots of machines gym). So, that is my theory anyways. It's only a few dollars more to join both, and the little gym is close to my office, while the big gym is not. Makes perfect sense, right?

Also, I my car was washed on Sunday. It felt good to rid it of the salt and bird poo. However, what was not cool was the rain falling a mere three hours after it was washed. And before you even say it, it was not forecasted to rain. Not even a little bit. There was no rain in the forecast for DAYS. But luckily it only sprinkled and it hasn't rained again since. So, I'm still happy I got it washed.

Maybe it's the sun but I feel better. It's not quite as hard to get out of bed on Sunday mornings (why Sundays are the hardest, I have no idea). I've learned to make lists because I WANT to accomplish the tasks on that list, but only if I have a list do I care to accomplish anything (especially on a Sunday and its sad I know). I can see life zipping by without me and I want to keep up with it (I just noticed I was acting as a bystander). I'm still lonely sometimes but that's getting better too. The one thing I can't figure out is how to cook for myself (any ideas?), Homie and I remain friends, and that still seems like a good thing. 

How are you?  Am I forgetting anything?

Getting into a Routine

So, I'm finally getting into a routine. I'm learning to live on my own again, which is so strange. I'm used to having a family- people who eat the food I cook (rather than me eating the same leftovers all week long), who are gracious for the house I keep clean (now it's just me), and for the love of all things blogging, I am used to having someone to talk to at all hours of the day and night. And someone to snuggle with at night (gag! I know). This breaking up is so hard to do.

And it's so hard for me to come to grips with everything. I love to have control of things, or at least have A PLAN. And now there is nothing. I just cannot come to grips with what happened to Homie (his traumatic brain injury), and WHY DID IT HAVE TO HAPPEN? It's the worst feeling in the world, the one thing I cannot change, the one thing I could not keep from happening. Yet these happenings are a part of life, and life was going so smoothly, but then it wasn't. And the hardest part is dealing with those curve balls.

But Homie and I have decided to remain good friends (at least for the moment). And that means a lot to me, that we can still communicate. But I also cannot imagine going out into the dating world again. I was so young when I met Homie. Not just my age, but my thoughts and naivete. I've grown so much since then, and I've grown so much in the past year and a half, I don't even know what age best suits me. Am I thinking too far into this? And I've lost a part of my sense of self. The part of myself that was part of a family and had a family plan.I had a plan when I was with Homie. Having kids, growing old with him, and loving him until the very end. And although I still want to do those things, the future is now so unknown (and that is SCARY). To know and have a plan, and then the darkness!

But I am happy for the most part. And I have great friends. I love both my IRL friends and my bloggy friends. I know with all of the support I've been given, I can get through this, I can get through anything. Thank you for still reading my blog even though the posts are so sporadic. It means so much to have a place where I can write and people will listen.

All of the Things I've Meant to Say but Haven't...

... and none of it earth-shattering or juicy.

• Since I'm only about six weeks behind, I'll say that I did join the hoopla that is New Years and resolved this year. Nothing serious. But I made two New Year's resolutions. One is to slow down. I am always barreling through life at break neck speed, I'm always scheduling myself in and rushing from one thing to the next. This year, I'm resolving to slow down. To relax, to calm down. Everything I do, need not be a competition with myself to see if I can do it faster than the time before. Also, I'm resolving to eat more salads. I love salads, and generally, they are packed with vegetables. So, I've been *trying* to eat a salad every day. With this, I also gave up french fries (except for the very rare occasion). And that is only because I eat out much more than I should, and I will get french fries every time if I'm not careful. This is actually going quite well. I do have to remind myself to slow down all the time when I find myself *rushing*. But it's definitely helping, and in the forefront of my mind.
•  I am taking the Complete Course in Professional Photography from the New York Institute of Photography. I quite like it. So far, I've completed two lessons. And am working on my third. It's really helpful, and I've found myself taking and studying my pictures much more intensely. Also, I've subscribed to a blog that does weekly photo challenges. Well, I've only done one of the challenges, and it's not online yet because I don't have my camera cord with me (boohoo), but I plan on keeping up with that. I've also thought about joining a 365 day flickr challenge, but I need my camera cord first. And that is a huge commitment, it would have to happen EVERY DAY.
• I bought a new pair of jeans and I love them. I want to wear them every day. I haven't fallen in the snow once this year. This is a new record for me, especially since it takes me 25 minutes to walk into work and I have slipped (but NOT fallen) about 500 times. So, glad too. Last year I fell and ripped my pants like you would not believe, so embarassing!
• The walking... and the snow... is making me so hungry. SO HUNGRY! It's like all I want to do is shove food in my piehole. Every chance I get. So weird.
• Today I ate Indian food, it was so good. Tomorrow I am a hosting a little dinner party (at a friend's house), and I am really terrible at the dessert part. I have no idea what to make, and I am usually pretty bad at making sweet things. It might come out of a box... oops.

OK. I can't think of anything else. Happy Wednesday!